


The Perquisites of Command

by nanda (nandamai)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Body Paint, Gen, Humor, Irredeemable Silliness, Season/Series 08, Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-30
Updated: 2009-08-30
Packaged: 2017-11-15 15:22:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nandamai/pseuds/nanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And Jack had thought the parking space was a sweet deal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perquisites of Command

SG1 was on time, just like every other team in the last 24 hours. The iris was already open when Jack stepped into the control room.

“Sir, Colonel Carter would like to speak with you,” Walter said, rolling his chair aside so Jack could stand at the microphone.

“Go ahead, Carter.”

“Uh, sir, if I might request that you clear the gate room and the control room?”

That right there made Jack’s day a whole lot more interesting. “Carter? What’s up?”

The signal crackled as they all spoke at the same time.

“Can we explain later, sir?”

“I believe we should discuss the matter at another time, O’Neill.”

“Jack, we’re making a narrow escape here. Sort of.”

Jack shrugged and told the techs and SFs to take five.

Walter said, “I’ll get some sheets and blankets from the infirmary, sir,” and Jack replied with a brisk nod.

“You’re all clear, SG1.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Nothing happened. Jack might have heard a scuffle and “You first” and “No, you!” and “You are in command, Colonel Carter.”

“Everything okay, kids?”

“We’re fine, sir, we just –”

They stepped through together. At least, Jack assumed it was them. It was hard to tell with the purple hair and purple body paint and wow, nothing _but_ purple body paint. 

“I see your point, Carter,” Jack said. 

She glared up at him. Even her lips were purple. 

“Jack, stop staring at Sam’s breasts and get us some damn clothes.”

“I wasn’t staring at her breasts!”

“Yes, you were, sir.”

“Hey!”

“O’Neill.” Teal’c's voice cut through their bickering. “We require clean garments immediately.”

“Now would be good, Jack.”

“Any time you’re ready, sir.”

“And you’d better destroy the security tape!” Daniel said.

“Oh, hold your horses. I’ll be right down,” Jack said. Then he called the infirmary to tell Walter to take his time. This was going to be _good_.


End file.
